Volume Tres: The Pillar of Friendship

“Dear Boy,
You are a douche. That’s right, you are a professional vaginal cleanser. I hope you get a curable STD while you are doing your job.
Love,
Girl.”


Okay, I wasn’t really serious about that part, it’s an inside joke that I thought I should include, for the sake of my sanity which is wearing thin. But it was how a piece of me felt. I think that the worst part about it is that I wouldn’t be at this point if he had just been honest from the beginning. As I’ve stated in another blog (The Pillar of Morality) I’m not a particularly moral or ethical person. However, one thing I do value is honesty. Females, I know you know this story all too well. A guy screws up. Point blank. I met a guy the other night who told a story about how he would put dip (tobacco) in his mouth when he was about to leave after hanging out with this girl. Why? Because he knew she would be going in for a kiss and he didn’t like her the same way. Yet he didn’t tell her that he didn’t like her because he “didn’t want to break her heart.”


I don’t remember how the rest of the story went, or even if there was more but what I have made up into my mind is that this girl is probably more heartbroken than if he would have told her from the beginning. I think it’s great that he even though enough about her feelings to attempt to protect them, HOWEVER, that was a bad idea in itself. Now all he’s done is led this girl on, like what’s been done to me. What’s a bad idea, and sure to lead to more heartbreak is to lead someone on by hanging out with them and/or planning to and then standing them up. I don’t buy the whole “I don’t want to break her heart” excuse from some people and in the case of my situation I don’t. I just find it such a hard concept to accept. From the beginning I was up front and honest, no matter how shy I was and how hard it was for me, yet couldn’t receive the same thing back. If he “didn’t want to break my heart” then why didn’t he just say “Hey, I don’t really like you the same way, sorry.” I would actually have respect for this person at this point if he did. The best part about the whole situation (notice the sarcasm), after I was stood up, I saw this person numerous times and could not even get an apology. I even stood right in his face basically (granted it was at 230 in the morning on a basketball court surrounded by all of my friends). I stood right there while he addressed all of them and basically ignored the fact that I was alive. Even though I recently took my braids out, I don’t look different to the point of non-recognition. But the point in all of this is that I am still standing. Thanks to some very lovely people that I’ve met down in North Carolina.


People who know me in Maryland know that I have several groups of friends, and down here it’s all the same. This weekend was filled with ups and downs. By Thursday at 2035 (8:35) I decided that the weekend would indeed be disappointing and filled with more depression until I reached the fourth floor of North Hall, where girls who had never spoken to me took me under their arm and took care of me. Later two great people I barely knew helped me feel much better just by suggesting we take a run in the sprinklers at midnight. They didn’t have to care at all but they did.
Friday night at the semi formal when a male friend who I’ve not known long or really had too much interaction with saw my distress as I sat in the hallway and refused to leave until I felt better. People like these exemplify what friendship is. You may not be as close as you are to others, but in the end the people who are there for you in your time of need are just as much a friend as the people you are with day in and day out. What is important is that you return the favor. Pay it forward. Be honest.

I think I really switched gears big time somewhere in the middle. Hope you kept up.